Somewhere down the Northern Suburbs of Mumbai, it’s a humid evening, hand carts all over, people running through their daily hustle & bustle, to catch the LOCAL trains, a pan shop down the road, cigarette in my hand, pathetic feeling running all over, stressed and worried about the future …
Life can be painful sometimes; I was just wondering how one can make things difficult for themselves… it all began this way …
One call on a sunny afternoon from a prospective client…
“Done sir, will be there at 7.30 pm at your office, please text me the office address … “I concluded as I disconnected the call …
A meeting during the late hours of the evening was a horrible idea I thought, but then “paise k liye kuch bhi kar sakte hai” is a normal Mumbaikar slogan … so couldn’t deny the forthcoming business...
This was a normal weekday hence couldn’t leave office before official working hours, which means I had to start travelling on my 125 cc scooter post 6.30, leaving behind less than an hour to cover 35 odd kms with irritating and terrible Mumbai traffic.
This being the prime time for all the corporate offices to leave for home, it makes the narrow streets of Mumbai steeper and difficult to travel…
With all the cribbing, I started my journey on 125 cc scooter from Worli (a plush corporate location on western suburbs of Mumbai) to Mira Road (ah! its too far man, forget it)…
It was fairly humid polluted (normal) Mumbai evening … with my ear plugs and shades, I was indulging in some Pink Floyd… I found myself mumbling “Coming back to life” … smoothly sailing in my music… suddenly a broad moustache heavy voice followed me and asked me stop immediately…
I was taken by a sudden shock seeing a cop following me on his bike and asking me to pullover… I cleared the signal and waited for him ahead at the sidewalk (or I would say; just a narrow street... usually Mumbai roads don’t have more than 1 ½ lanes for vehicles… because of 1 ½ lanes are out right purchased by Hawkers, hand carts and trespassers...)
“You guys are the worst examples of today’s generation, don’t care about the rules and regulation laid by the Government of India… you should be penalized” … said the big tummy, heavy moustache, Hinglish accent policeman.
“Sir, but what is my fault?” I questioned with attitude.
“Fault…!” he said with a long pause and aggravated looks … “You jumped the signal, crossed over the zebra crossing, cut your lane and to top it all you are listening to music, which is a complete non adherence of rules and regulations”
And I just realized that I was so engrossed with my Pink Floyd music, that I jumped the signal and broke the rules, in the presence of a policeman...
“When did I do that sir... you just can’t be putting random blames on me… look at the other bikers, they don’t even wear their helmets, and at least I am still better … I am not paying any penalties...”
(Now this was sheer “Ujjati” (a mumbaiya term for over smart people)… knowing that you are at fault, you still tend to act innocent and witty… just because you know better English then the fat police man or you work with a MNC and get highly paid for it… this entitles you to act smart, even if you are at fault)
The last statement of mine provoked his rage and challenged his duty … he fired “now I am not going to penalize you… Submit your license … see you in court next week”
“Ah! What a big mistake”I said to myself…
I began pleading, “Sir lets sort it out here only… what is the official fine I need to pay for all the allegations”
My pleading doesn’t seem to soften him… I was caught in a dumbstruck situation now… Anyways, I was running on a thin margin on timelines to reach that meeting and to worsen it, the cop looked in no hurry or mood to sort out the issue...
Finally, I tried a gamble; I pulled a 500 rupee note, and asked him to settle the matter… (A typical Mumbai police incentive)... I was dead scared, if this trick back fired, I am screwed…
Fortunately, he seemed to be excited watching the old man with spectacles on the currency...
“Well, we can do something, just because you’ve been nice after your first statement…” fancied policeman…
“Huh, now he is talking the right language… bingo, the traditional Mumbai method worked it seems” I said to myself...”
After 15 mins of his philosophical session and lot of NOT TO DO’S, he agreed to amount of Rs.600/- to let me free without the receipt... and … finally I was out of this dilemma….
I was running way behind my schedule; this was about to create a very negative impact on my prospective client...
I made a courtesy call requesting “chief I am running little behind the schedule shall be there in another 30 mins”...
“Ok, we can’t do much about it… now we got to work as per your schedules…”the guy on the other side of the phone said in grumbled tone…
“I am really sorry sir, shall be there in 20... Please sir...” I pleaded
“Oh Fuck! Why did I commit 20 mins knowing I am already 30 kms away from the location and I will take at least an hour considering Mumbai Traffic...! Shit, I have landed myself in trouble now… “My conscious told me…
“K, where have you reached now?” asked the irritated voice on the other side of the phone to break my reverie…
This question compelled me to act weirdly stunned on call and there was a long pause as I had no answers to his query...
“You there?” he repeated in an anxious manner… (Expecting a corporate employee to work beyond 9 -6 is like asking for trouble…this will surely annoy them… but then I was pretty convinced as he’s the one who called for this meeting… so, no worries, he will wait for it)
“Yes sir, I am in a low network area, and as I’m riding, can’t hear you clearly… will be there in 20” I replied…
“OK, let me see if I can keep my director to stay on till Ravi – The Busy man reaches” said the helpless or rather in a sarcastic manner… (Oh, now I realized that the director has called for this meeting and this guy had no choice but to wait till the director is here… these were the reasons he grumbled over the issue… this gave me a sense of fear, as the senior management of a huge MNC is staying back late in office, after their long day of curriculum, just because I am running late …)
I cleared the sweat on my forehead and with the sense of urgency; I started my bike to begin flying... (Wish humans would have succeeded in inventing bikes with wings) …
Pink Floyd started banging hard, as I began sailing towards my destination and covered 20 kms in no time … (for a change I didn’t have to surf through peak hours traffic, may be I was lucky for once I thought)
But that lucky feeling didn’t last long, on second thoughts, I had a sneak preview at my watch and realized I was just about to cross my deadline …
I started praying, “Please God, this guy should not call me for another 15 mins… I will be there within 15 mins…” and to my disguise, my phone rang …
My heart started jumping at the pace of ringtone; otherwise exciting ringtone on my phone doesn’t seem to be exciting at all...
Parked my bike and took out the phone out of holster to see a call from one of my old friends… her name on my display made me smile… but it didn’t last long… I disconnected the phone and started flying back … (once again I questioned myself, do I have a social life?)
And to worsen the series of bad or rather fucked luck … I was in the middle of a never ending, non-moving traffic...
“Oh God!, what do I do now… where do I go… the client is not going to buy any traffic excuses for making it late for the meeting… one of my prospective clients has been reduced from my list … if this continues I will land up begging on the roads with no clients to work with … I could sense sweat all over… “
Beggars, hawkers, traffic police shouting at few hand cart guys, 2 auto driver fighting for customers, a taxi driver sleeping in his parked cab with legs stretched outside the window was a peculiar scene one could notice … Beep Beep Beep ... Blowing horns broke my reverie as vehicles began to move …
Another 30 mins of more struggle and I could see the destination in front me … I didn’t have guts to call up my client and check with him if the meeting is still on… I thought just breaking into office would make more sense…
After crossing all the hurdles, alas! I reached the client’s office at 9 pm for a 7.30 pm meeting to learn that everyone from his team already finished the meeting with competing agencies and left for the day … the only ones left for me was a watchman and 2 pantry staff who were courteous enough to offer coffee and some cold water … on questioning, the reply was “Sahab, toh chale gaye…”
So here I am , standing at the end of just another meeting, with a cigarette in my hand, dead tired, no power to ride back till the other end of the city, no excitement to call back the old friend and wondering, what next ??…
- Ravi Mehta
